Carey Christie of Seattle

A collaborative, short-term dating experiment for curious, creative grown-ups.

MAKE DATING GREAT AGAIN

The Six-Pack is a playful, low-pressure way to connect with someone without rushing, ghosting, or overthinking. It’s a short-term collaboration: Six dates. Two people. One game.

You agree to date only each other for six dates, then take a beat.

After that, you both decide what’s next—if anything. Maybe you’re done forever. Maybe you’re excited for more. 

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HOW IT WORKS

1. Be available. Commit to six total dates together. It might take a month or a week to get through this part, so it’s worth discussing your mutually-preferred timeline. 
2. Be exclusive. No dating others during this time. You’re co-creating an experience together with another REAL PERSON. It’s hard to relax when you’re competing.
3. Get some distance.* Take a two-week break afterward. No contact. See how you feel about going out again after the chemicals wear off.

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WHY IT WORKS

• It sets boundaries. Less confusion, fewer assumptions.
• It keeps things fun. No “where is this going” panic and dating (potentially) becomes less of a time suck.
• It creates space for authenticity. Just show up as yourself and stay curious.
• It helps you focus. No juggling. No comparison. No head games. Well, less headgames?
• You’re learning. Each six-pack helps you understand yourself better. It’s easier to face uncomfortable truths.
• It keeps you positive. This is an IRL break from the dating apps grind. It gives you short-term, measurable, reachable goals just as life-hackers are always suggesting get results.

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GETTING STARTED

This game was designed for monogamy-inclined daters but there’s no reason you can’t adapt it to suit you. The whole point is to adapt. If you want to play it my way, here’s how:

STEP 1: RECRUIT A COLLABORATOR

Maybe you are here because you’ve been invited into a Six Pack. If so, congratulations! You must be attractive, intelligent, and open-minded or you wouldn’t have made it this far.

If you’re the initiator, YOU ARE BRAVE AND AWESOME. Here are a few tips and tools to help you push through fear of rejection and also to minimize the slim chance of failure.

PRO TIP: MEET FIRST

Wait until you’ve had your first date or at least have hung out with this person. Don’t bother inviting someone to do this if your first date sucks. This format is no substitute for awful timing or lousy chemistry.

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If the second date is going well, that’s a great time to invite them into a Six-Pack. You can offer to count the first two dates toward your total of six. If you feel too shy, you can text them about it.

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STEP 2: CREATE YOUR SIX-PACK

There are a few decisions you’ll want to knock out before officially launching your six-pack. Bring these into your conversation:

• What’s our general timeline? Does one of us have a 2-month trip on the near horizon? LET’S BE DONE BEFORE THEN. Want to pick one day a week?
• Are we counting earlier dates or starting fresh?
• How do we want to communicate to make the plans and are there any boundaries we want to establish beyond the basic rules? Examples: social media posts okay? meeting friends allowed?

You can add anything you like and there’s plenty to decide organically. Don’t let this turn into too much work. Keep it light.

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STEP 3: DO YOUR DATES

COMMON QUESTION: WHAT COUNTS AS A DATE?

Whatever you both agree on. It could be dinner, a hike, a game night, a lazy Sunday walk—just something intentional, where you show up for each other. I recommend splitting up the responsibility for planning the dates, but you do you. 

Be creative and don’t force the other person into financial or physical obligations. LIKE, DON’T EVER FORCE THE OTHER PERSON. That also seems obvious, but I’m going to leave it here for crystal clarity.

TOOL: DATE SUGGESTIONS

• Show off something/somewhere you love (invite your collaborator to join you in a favorite hobby, restaurant, bike route, etc.)
• Do something memorable or silly (roller skating? water-balloon battle?)
• Try something neither of you has ever done (line dancing? see a new band?)

This is YOUR time, so pick stuff that’s in your budget and sounds enjoyable to you both. Or surprise each other! You’re allowed to decide how you want to approach date planning.

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STEP 4: TAKE A BREAK.

You know what this means.

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STEP 5: BASK IN SUNSHINE.

You have successfully finished a six-pack and you are both victorious!

• You did your six dates.
• You honored the break.
• You learned something (about them, yourself, your environment).
• You stayed kind. 
• You stayed curious.

If you want to see each other again: reach out. Hopefully the feeling is mutual.

Even if you don’t want to keep seeing each other—this was a win. Let this one go and apply your full self to the next six-pack, when you’re ready.

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MY STORY/FINAL THOUGHTS

Maybe this won’t be right for you. But modern dating is often sort of chaotic and horrible. Also, I (Carey Christie) invented this game based on my values, goals, and strengths. You don’t have to do this the way I did it. Take the idea and make it yours.

SIX-PACK ORIGIN STORY

I created the Six-Pack Dating Game in 2015 because I wanted to find love and the old ways weren’t working. Also, I was disappointed in myself for even wanting a partner (THANK YOU, THERAPY) so each failed attempt carried an extra sting. I’m an artist who believes play makes us stronger. So, I decided, why not play to my strengths? I wrote a manifesto and made a website so I didn’t have to explain everything IRL.

CLEAR REJECTIONS

The first guy I invited to do a six-pack had taken me on several romantic, fun dates. He was handsome and funny but there were some lifestyle differences I wasn’t sure would work long term. On our third date I pitched him the idea and, after considering for a few days, he turned me down. Ya see, he’d met someone earlier who he liked more. He basically dumped me and invited HER to do a six-pack.

That felt weirdly awesome. She said yes! They ended up going out for the better part of a year. My idea was working.

The next time I invited someone, he agreed and then broke our deal. I ran into him at a party with another woman. She seemed cool. He seemed…less cool. Because of the six-pack, I found out he wasn’t trustworthy before I got too invested.

HAPPY OUTCOMES

My next collaborator made it to the end of the game and it was fun, but not going anywhere. We said goodbye on our sixth date and never went out again. On my third six-pack I discovered someone who was just right for me. He was funny, smart, smelled amazing, and we had plenty in common. Still, I might not have stuck it out because he was still living with his ex and that weirded me out. I could tolerate it for six awesome dates, though.

We fell in love. We kept seeing each other even when it got hard and we are still in love, years later.*

So, now you know that I have re-created this web page FOR YOU. I hope I’ll never need to do another six-pack. And I hope there can be less shame and fear and stress in dating for everyone, always.

Anyway, I’d love to hear your stories. Just email me at datingbysixpack@gmail.com. I promise not to share any details publicly without your explicit permission.

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*FOOTNOTE ON THE 2-WEEK BREAK

If you really like each other, going no contact is going to be tough. But here’s why it matters. Kissing and whispering and just thinking about someone you really like in that way is scientifically proven to impair your reason. You don’t drive drunk, right? RIGHT?

The break reveals plenty that makes it worth trying. And maybe there is someone else you want to meet. You can use the break to meet them (and your collaborator can do likewise).

Full disclosure: my partner and I just celebrated our nine-year anniversary and we only made it through a week of the break. I can’t remember who broke the silence first; but we decided to do another six-pack and we still collaborating on our life together.

Wishing you all the luck in the world. And remember…you’re cool!

– Carey Christie, May 1, 2025